A Broken Rope
by AmniIsRoving
Summary: Dave Karofsky has just been released from the hospital after his attempted suicide. Kurt Hummel, Dave's former victim, and new friend is there to help him pick up the pieces. High school is the "start" of life, but what if you nearly took it? Warnings: M!
1. Chapter 1

Hi! This is actually my first fanfic. I love Kurtofsky and in this one there is no Blaine. I love Blaine when I saw a few episodes, but now I'm not the biggest fan. Maybe I'll get back into him, but right now there is no Klaine, that's a whole mess I DO not want to get into . So if you have any suggestion, question, or comment, lemme know! I'm a pretty screwed up insomniac so expect weird updates. I'm hoping to get the first few chapters up in the next couple days. However I don't make any promises.

**Warning: MxM, mentions of suicide/self-inflicted pain, some violence, profanity, some grammar and spelling mistakes. Also I'm from the USA so my English is going to be different than you darling British and Australians and such. I apologize for any confusion ahead of time!**

I don't own glee, but I wouldn't mind a Kurtofsky pillow one day 3

_**A Broken Rope**_

_Sweet Prada,_Kurt thought as he stared at the ashen form of Dave Karofsky staring blankly into the final dredges of the sunset. The larger boy still had his hospital wrist band on, and looked like all kinds of hell. Obviously hearing Kurt's approaching footsteps Dave's head turned and Kurt froze midstep. Dave's eyes hadn't been empty, but he was obviously not trying to feel anything.

"Hello Fancy," Karofsky, _Dave now, _Kurt thought, said. He attempted a small smile, and Kurt felt his stomach bottom out and his eyes fill again.

"You've scared us absolutely silly sneaking out of the hospital. You were getting checked out in an hour, couldn't you have waited?" Kurt said brokenly. The whole hospital was in a panic, both of their fathers were currently running around searching for him and Kurt found the other boy sitting on a park bench three blocks away staring out into the horizon looking apprehensive and lost. Reaching the other boy in three sharp steps he gripped his shoulders, forced him to fully face him, and shook Dave back and forth. "Why the hell did you go out here, and why didn't you tell us?"

"I wanted to confirm that I lived another day." Dave said simply. His large, calloused hands gently gripped Kurt's and removed them from his shoulders. His smile was rather absent, as he said, "the drugs keep me rather loopy. I can't always tell if its night or day. There isn't a clock in room, since they're afraid it'll trigger something, and I don't have a watch or my cellphone. I didn't want someone else with me for the first time." Kurt's fists loosened, but he didn't let go.

"Why couldn't you look out your window?" Kurt demanded.

"I didn't want to see the bars." Dave said pulling Kurt's hands off. He simply held them in one hand and petted them with the other. He seemed distracted by this, and it allowed Kurt time to marshal his thoughts. _He had said..._

"_Bars?_" Kurt nearly screeched. _What the hell did he mean by bars,_ Kurt thought.

"The policy at this hospital is to put all suicidal patients in a room that is constantly supervised and has bars over the windows to prevent patients attempting to jump." Dave said releasing Kurt's hands in favor for standing and moving around Kurt to simply return to staring at the sunset. Kurt felt his stomach squeeze painfully. He didn't like the contemplation of Dave's death or the quiet, friendly overtones Dave spoke of it.Studying the other boy's set figure he silently pulled out his phone and texted his father and then Dave's. Putting the phone on vibrate, he tucked it away and went to stand next to Dave. They stared at the sunset together. After a few moments Kurt repeated what he'd said a few days earlier, "imagine what'll be like in ten years. Just keep thinking about that." Silently Dave took Kurt's hand as sobs broke through, and Kurt held Dave when he collapsed to the ground. As the darkness finally started to set in Kurt Hummel vowed to be there every single step of the recovery process and stay friends with this broken boy no matter what happened, or what stupid people said. He _was_ the Gay Ice Bitch Prom Queen after all. He had to look after his king.

Dave sat on his parent's living room couch staring blankly at the wall. He could hear his father arguing with his mother in another room.

"He doesn't need a damn doctor to _cure _his fucking sexuality!" He heard his father say.

"Yes he does! He would never have attempted to commit suicide if he had! He'll end up in hell for either of those sins unless he _REPENTS_ and gets help Paul!" His mother cried back. Picking up his bedroom pillow he covered his face and tried to drown out the misery that was suffocating this hell of a home.

"Fuck you, you stupid woman!" His father snarled. "He's not fucking going to a damn doctor who will try to fix what doesn't need to be fixed. He's gay. He was born that way. He'll stay that way. What he needs right now is support, love, and fucking guidance. So he doesn't end up..." His father's voice broke at that. Sighing into the pillow, Dave threw it aside. Dragging himself up, he walked down the hall, passed his parents who didn't see him, and out the front door letting it slam shut. Settling on the front porch swing, he pushed himself back and forth on it, staring out at the cookie cutter houses, the manicure green lawns, and the shiny suburban soccer mom cars. _Why the hell am I even here?_ He wondered. _Shouldn't I be attending some fashion show, or something gayish like that? _Admittedly he didn't understand fashion past white and colors don't go together in the washer, and if it's comfortable, wear it. Rubbing his neck absently, his throat suddenly seized and he was suddenly back in his room kicking the chair away letting the noose tighten and choke away all his air. Squeezing his eyes shut, he smacked his forehead a few times, and then scrubbed his eyes with his fists.

_ No no no no no no no nooooo... _He wasn't going back there. He'd promised himself, he'd promised his parents, hell he'd promised the only person he'd ever come out to. Pausing at the thought of Kurt he almost jumped when he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his sweatpants. Pulling it out he almost cried at the message. It was a new number and phone, and only four people knew it, his parents, his psychologist and Kurt.

_Hey, how you holding up?-K. _Dave stared at that message, his fingers rubbing over the message screen tiredly. He wasn't holding up, he was stuffing things into boxes in his minds and trying to fucking no walk back into that closet or pulling out that bottle of pills he'd been saving for months, for years.

**I'm not dead. Let's say its been a good day and call it quits before I end up going insane.- Dave** He replied stiffly after ten minutes of typing and retyping. The phone buzzed almost immediately after he hit send.

_Tell me what I can do so you actually feel better.-K. _Dave read the seriousness. The compassion. He just stared at it. Deciding he didn't want to respond he locked the phone and shoved it back into his pocket. Thirty minutes later it rang. Glancing at the screen he saw Kurt's name flash and he hit ignore. He stuffed it back in. Two seconds later it rang again. He hit ignore again. This continued for the next thirty minutes. Giving up, Dave finally hit the green answer button and said quite angrily into the phone,

"WHAT HUMMEL?"

"Tell me if I can help Dave," Kurt said softly. Scrubbing his face, Dave tried to ignore the flood of warmth. _Get over yourself Dave_, he thought, _Kurt's only talking to you because he feels guilty about you trying to off yourself and him not picking up when you wanted to tell him good bye and sorry again. _

"That's just it Hummel, there's no fucking way to fucking help." Dave growled into the phone. He stood up and paced back and forth. Studying the sturdy wood beneath his feet he almost missed what Kurt said next.

"Do you want me to come over? I don't know... Watch the sunset or whatever?" Kurt asked. He was obviously referencing back to what Dave had run off to do last week when he'd been released from the hospital. Every day since then Dave had lived in a semi-emotionless hell except for at sunset where he cried, surprised and oddly grateful that he'd made it through another day. He slept on the couch because being in his room caused him to scream uncontrollably. He spent days drinking only water or broth since his throat hurt too much and he didn't feel motivated to eat anyway. He didn't watch television, he didn't go on the internet, he didn't do jack shit. Scrubbing his face he looked back at his house. He didn't want to be here. No matter how much he wanted to comfort his parents, he really didn't have the energy or motivation to deal with all their emotions as well. He couldn't fucking cope with his parents fucking feelings, he just fucking couldn't.

"I'd rather you picked me up and then drop me off at a park where I could just escape for a few fucking hours." Dave said slowly, the words almost painfully coming out. "I can't stand being in this house any longer. It feels like it's suffocating me. I don't want to deal with all the emotions, the arguments, the decisions that should be fucking mine but that I don't care about." Dave's voice broke at the end. "I don't feel anything Kurt, what the hell is wrong with me. Did I kill my soul and my body is just stuck waiting for me to die? What the fucking hell do I do?" He started crying, he curled up into a ball at the far corner of the porch, out of sight of the big picture windows looking into the living room and dinning room. He didn't want his parents to see, actually he didn't fucking know what he wanted, but he didn't want them to do anything. He heard Kurt's soft breaths, then he heard him say.

"Tell your parents you're going out for the night. You can crash at my place. I'll ask my dad. Okay Dave?" Dave started sobbing harder. "I'll be there in twenty minutes. Ju-just wait for me, okay Dave?" Sobbing all the harder Dave barely made out the assent. Twenty minutes later Dave had a bag packed up and his mother was trying to force him to stay in the house.

"Dave you cannot go over there! You'll just be reinforcing the gay lifestyle. You have to stay here and let me call the doctor to fix you." His mother tried to stop him. His father was merely standing silently, watching the whole debacle his mouth pinched and unhappy.

"Mom, let me go." Dave said quietly. Both parents froze. This was the first coherent sentence Dave had spoken to them in the last week. Most of the time he just say or laid there blankly and tired. "I'm not gay because I chose to be. I would never chose to be gay with all the stuff I like. Let me go."

"No Dave," his mother continued weakly, "you're just confused, you just need to talk to this man-"

"For goodness sakes, Marian," his father finally broke in. "How many damn times do I have to tell you? Being homosexual is a product of physical chemistry in the brain. God made it so he'd be this way. Why God decided Dave should have this trial is between Dave and God, so you need to fucking let the boy go for today. You also need to shut the hell up about that phony doctor. Dave isn't going to get better with your narrow-minded bullshit!" The last few sentences were yells accompanied by his father prying his mother off of him and him shaking her hard. Her body went limp, and she collapsed into Dave's father, weakly clutching at his shirt. Dave and his father exchanged a look, a sharp nod accompanied by two equally sad faces. His father didn't want him to go, but both Dave and his mother were at their breaking points. Some distance would let them feel better. Dave's father had talked to Kurt's and they agreed to let Dave stay a couple nights. Walking out the door Dave went to the edge of the drive and climbed into the waiting passenger seat of Kurt's Navigator. Buckling in after he shoved his bags into the back Kurt puts the car in drive and they leave Dave's definition of hell on Earth. Dropping his head into his hands he let out a tired, relieved sigh. _That went a hell of a lot fucking easier than I thought it would,_ he thought.

"So..." Kurt started, making Dave's head snap up. "Do you want to go directly back to my place or... Hit the park for some sunset watching?" Dave glanced at the radio clock, it was barely three o'clock and at this time of year sunset was several hours off. Shaking his head Dave tried to figure out what the hell to do.

"It's the weekend right?" Dave asked. Kurt nodded. "Then can we go to the high school. I kinda just want to sit in the bleachers and stare blankly out at the woods. You can drop me off if you have shit to do. I just... I just need time to space out. Go somewhere there's no one trying to fix me." Kurt flushes at this.

"Uh..." He starts out. Dave snorts humorlessly.

"I know you want to help me Kurt, but the difference is you want me to fix myself, while everyone else in the damn world thinks they can find someone to do it for me or do it themselves." Kurt looks startled at this observation and Dave actually laughs, a rusty sound that's almost mocking itself for existing. "You're the only one who's told me to look forward. The doctors, the teachers, my fucking parents... They all want to focus on now, or who's to blame, or, hell, what's already over with. You're the only one who talked me into thinking I _might_ actually have something after all of this is over." Dave silent for a few minutes trying to summarize all the emotions that had brought forth, all the relief and such. He wiped his eyes with the edge of his thin, long sleeved shirt.

"You fucking gave me my future and my hope."

_ "You fucking gave me my future and my hope."_ Is still ringing in Kurt's brain, ears, and heart thirty minutes later. They'd pulled up to the high school and driven around back to the soccer bleachers. They were far from any houses or people. Something that would have made Kurt nervous around his former bully. Yet with broken Dave it seemed almost inevitable. Sitting under the bleachers, an older blanket spread out, Dave was dead asleep. Exhaustion, pain, and depression finally accumulating in a cocktail of bleak sleep. His face looked more relaxed, but lines of worry and pain were still etched around his mouth, eyes, and nose. Opening up his laptop Kurt was glad he had the foresight to bring it. With a battery life of six hours Kurt figured he could do college applications, essays, and Facebook without having to wake up Dave.

Opening his internet his Facebook homepage popped up. Checking his message and notification he opens his college applications and FAFSA just to check that everything is clear and done. Frowning at a few discrepancies and changes he click and starts working. After getting started on an essay for English he hears Dave cry out. Shutting the top down he quickly puts it aside and turns to Dave. The other boy is curled up in a fetal position, his face dead white, and eyes wildly searching without being able to stop and focus.

"Dave!" Kurt says shaking the other boy gently. "Dave it's okay!" The other boy is lost, trapped in his mind, trapped in a loop of his noose. Scrabbling at his neck the boy vainly attempts to pull of metaphysical nightmare. Kurt shakes him harder, he tries slapping the boy's arms, shoving at his check, yelling. Nothing works. Nearly out of his mind with worry, Kurt finally acts on complete impulse and kisses Dave hard on the mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all the reviews, I was surprised by how many came in only 12 hours. To answer xechada's questions: yes Kurt went to Dalton, all the things that happened still happened but there's no Blaine being his bad advice giving self. However, Dave didn't confess, he was seen leaving Scandals with Kurt one night after accidentally meeting up. More details to come, in fact you get to see some soon. *wink*

**Warning: ****MxM, mentions of suicide/self-inflicted pain, some violence, profanity, some grammar and spelling mistakes. Also I'm from the USA so my English is going to be different than you darling British and Australians and such. I apologize for any confusion ahead of time!**

I do not own Glee, but I would love a Kurtofsky pillow one day. Though my parents would probably not get it.

* * *

_**Chapter 2**_

Dave was sitting in an empty room on a plain white, plastic chair. Dressed in his everyday clothes; a white tee, jeans, sneakers with socks, and his letterman. Dave was disorientated. Why was he here? Then the voices came. _Fag, homo, you should have stayed in the closet! Pervert! What the hell is wrong with you? A jock can't be a homo! What the hell are you talking about, you should stay in the closet! _Scared and startled Dave covered his ears trying to drown out the voices. They just go louder and louder, and then suddenly Azimio and his mother were there. Azimio looked angry and disgusted while his mother looked sad, frantic and disappointed. _What the hell Karofsky! You never told me you were a fag! I don't want to talk to you, hell I don't want to even look at you! _Azimio said turning away from Dave. Tears started falling as his mother cried out, _No! There's no way I gave birth to a.. a GAY person! Stop lying Dave! You need to get help! I'll call that doctor your uncle works with at his camp and we'll get you fixed. I'm sure this is just pressure from school or something making you say these silly things. You are NOT GAY. _Then Kurt was there. He just kept saying Dave's name over and over. He felt the other boy take his shoulders and shake him back and forth.

"Dave, Dave, Dave, DAVE, DAVE! DAVE! DAVE!" And then Kurt kissed him. Jerking awake Dave found Kurt pinned under him and their lips sealed together. Moaning, he jerked back and crab walked away until he ran into the underside of the bleachers. Curling into a tight ball he started rocking back and forth. No no no no no no no no, not again, not again... He thought wildly. He felt his shoulder being shaken again and he realized it was Kurt and he was saying it aloud.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, please don't run away again, please don't leave me. Please please please I promise I won't touch you again, I promise it was an accident, no no no no no no no no, I'm sorry, I am so so so so sorry. I didn't mean to. This can't be happening." Dave sobbed out. He felt Kurt's arm go around him and hug him tight.

"Shhh, shhh... It's okay Dave, it's okay. It's not your fault. It's not your fault, you didn't do anything bad to me. It's okay, I'm not going to leave you. Shhh, shhh... It's okay big guy. You weren't the one who kissed me." Kurt said. "I was the one who kissed you." Dave's mind flat lined. The erratic noise and screams were just pushed to the back. Dave jerked back and stared at Kurt wildly.

"Wha-wha-what did you say?" He ground out. His voice was harsh and coarse from the tears and screams, mere echoes of the nightmare that had swallowed him, the nightmare that was swallowing him alive. His eyes met with Kurt's and he watched the boy visibly swallow.

"I kissed you." Kurt said again. Dave laughed hysterically at this.

"There's no way in hell that happened." Dave said. His breathing was starting to return to normal, and his head wasn't pounding. Hell, his heart wasn't trying to pry itself out of his chest anymore."You don't have to protect me by lying to me Kurt. There's no way you'd kiss me. You hate me. The only reason you're helping me is because I nearly killed myself and you didn't answer your fucking phone to hear me say that your fucking problems were finally going to be gone for good. You didn't fucking pick up your phone to hear me say goodbye." He started to get angry. A small snide voice in the back of his head asked where all this emotion was coming from. How an empty husk could feel anything. Dave's fist punched into the ground and he saw Kurt jerk slightly. A bitter laugh escaped him. "See, you would never fucking kiss me. You hate me, you fear me." Scrubbing his fact with his hands Dave moved to get up. "I'm not fucking doing this. You shouldn't put up with my shit. Drop me off at a motel or something. You can't have me in your home." Then he was being pushed back by a really pissed off Kurt. Falling back, he slammed into the ground. Staring up at Kurt, shock freezing his entire body he watched the other boy lean down, eyes squeezed shut, and kiss him hard. Making a muffled noise of shock Dave's focus zoomed in on the dry, chapped feel of Kurt's lips pressed against his. _He could use some Chapstick,_ his brain spit out rather lamely. _They aren't as silky as the time he confronted you and you kissed him out of desperation. _Feeling his body stir, Dave jerked his focus backing into rational thought. The kiss was chaste and it was actually starting to hurt.

"Kurt," he mumbled, trying to push the other boy off to no avail. The other boy had somehow wound himself around Dave and was clinging tighter than a toddler to candy. Dave tried again, "Kurt, dude, you need to like get off." Still no reaction, just a hard pressure on his mouth, chest, and stomach. "Dude, seriously, you're hurting me with your mouth." _Why the hell am I the one making sense,_ Dave thought humorously,_ I'm the crazy guy who just tried to commit suicide._ Feeling laughter bubble up, Dave laughed so hard he felt tears leak out of the corners.

* * *

Kurt was plastered against Dave. His mouth tightly pressed against the other boy's while he wrapped himself hard to him. He heard Dave mumble something, but it didn't come through, right now he was absorbed in the hard muscled body he was pressed against. _Sweet Prada,_ Kurt thought blankly as he kept himself from rubbing up and down against that wall of yummy chest, _I always thought he was covering up fat with his loose clothes, not tons of muscles. _Feeling the chest below start to shake, Kurt jerked back. His brain tried to figure out why Dave was laughing. Finally it hit him, he was clinging to Dave Karofsky trying to convince him that he, Kurt Hummel, would kiss him voluntarily. Moaning and flush with embarrassment he fell back away from Dave. Covering his face with his hands he heard Dave's laughter just get louder. _Oh dear nonexistant God, if you wish to convert me, now would be the time to make a hole in the ground to swallow me whole. _They laid there for the next twenty minutes, absolute embarrassment immobilizing Kurt while laughter did the same for Dave. Finally he heard Dave snuffle a few times. Seeing Dave sit up and he felt a wave of warmth pass through his chest at the happier expression on the other boy's face. He felt a smile split his face and Dave laughed when he saw it before saying, "What?"

"Nothing," Kurt said shaking his head. "You just..." _Look so much happier._ Dave looked at him quizzically then shrugged. Pushing to his feet Dave brushed himself off then offered him a hand. Placing his hand in Dave's Kurt felt another strange flood of warmth when the warm, large, calloused hand wrapped around his slender paler one. Dave pulled him up, and he stumbled a bit and he fell into Dave's side. The other boy gripped him firmly and smiled softly down at him before asking, "Are you okay?" Kurt nodded into Dave's shoulder, sucking in the scent of the other boy's aftershave and bath soap. Stepping back he tried to control the oncoming blush.

"I'm fine, thanks for helping me up." He brushed his hair out of his eyes. Dave chuckled and ruffled it. Kurt squawked indignantly. "Do not touch my hair! It takes forever to get it the way I want it! Do you know how much time it takes to get it exactly this fabulous? To look this fabulous?" His hands swept up and down, displaying his skinny jeans with a braided belt with metallic embellishments on the buckle, stripped gray long sleeved collared shirt under a bright green argyle cardigan with the most adorable flower cameo buttons. Hooking his fingers into the back pocket he twirled and heard Dave laugh even harder. Smiling at the other boy, he said, "You still want to hang out here? Or do you want to head over to my place for some food?"

Looking remarkable less stressed, Dave shrugged and said, "What the hell, worse come to worse I'll bail out and sleep in the woods." Not exactly the greatest vote of confidence but Kurt figured he'd take what he could get.

* * *

Dave stood outside the Hummel-Hudson household unmoving and more than a little scared. Dave still felt terrified of Burt Hummel even though the man had worked things out with him while he had been in the hospital and had become a pillar of comfort and patience for Dave and his family. Still, Dave was admittedly awkward around the whole family and the whole fact they were so fucking nice. He watched Kurt walk up ahead of the pathway. Reaching the door, Kurt paused, and turned back. Dave could guess what he saw. Frozen Dave stuck staring dumbly at a house with one duffel bag laying limply over his right foot while a backpack hung over his left shoulder.

"You are going to come inside, right Dave?" Kurt asked from twenty feet away. Dave just stared at him and shook his head. Dave was pretty sure there was no way in hell he was going to go inside. Kurt huffed, opened the door and slammed it shut. _Well that wasn't what I expected,_ Dave thought surprised. He had been pretty sure Fancy was going to come over to him and bitch him into submission. Shrugging he settled down on the edge of the drive and studied his surroundings. The house wasn't in the middle of nowhere per say, but it wasn't abutted against twenty other houses like his family's was. Starting to feel relaxed, Dave stretched out his legs and leaned back on his arms. The sun was bright for late February and it felt surprisingly good. Deciding he'd prefer sitting outside anyway, Dave tugged out his iPod and started up his Theory of a Deadman playlist. Humming along to Make Up Your Mind he didn't notice the shadows till four pairs of arms hauled him up and he was bodily lifted into the air.

"Holy shit!" Dave squealed out. Wincing at how girly that sound, he looked around to see who held him and glared into the grinning faces of Puck, Finn, Sam, and Burt. "What the fuck guys?"

"Language," Burt said simply. As he vainly trying to get down, he was carried into the house and dumped on to the living room floor. Artie and Mike were there as well, and it looked like a video game marathon was going on.

"Owww! What the heck?" Dave growled. Seeing Kurt leaning smugly against the doorway leading to a hallway to wherever he snarled, "Dammit Fancy! Couldn't you leave well enough alone?" Kurt merely shrugged, and Dave scowled.

"At least you're feeling." Kurt said simply.

"Yes I'm feeling all the nerves in my ass." Dave said, ignoring the surprise that came at the mention that he was indeed feeling. Hearing the play list croon into Crazy Bitch Dave couldn't help but chuckle. Seeing Halo paused on the television he couldn't help but laugh at the poor idiot getting semi-knifed. "Dude who's the moron who got his shit incorrectly equipped?" Hearing Finn's angry huff, Dave snorted. "Dude, I shouldn't have even bothered asking." Which startled the rest of the group into laughing. Dave still felt pretty damn scared and uneasy with being around so many people. Seeing that the guys were too busy ragging on Finn he felt some of the tension leave his body and he merely sat back, listened to his music while watching pandemonium go on and go down. Feeling like a normal person Dave had to pretend he was looking for something in his bag to hide his tears.

* * *

Later that night Kurt watched Dave who was curled up on the couch with Finn playing BioShock from the doorway. Finn was obviously screwing something up because Dave, albeit patiently, was cussing him out as he tried to lead Finn out of doing something stupid. _Good luck with that, _Kurt thought, _he's still dating Rachel. _Not that Kurt hated Rachel, she was just a lot of drama and insanity. Watching Dave's and Finn's faces paired up with some sort of celebration type noise from the game Kurt figured they'd done something amazing. Looking away from the game for moment Dave spotted him. Grinning at him Dave motioned him over. Flopping down at Dave's feet Kurt studied the screen, watching the boys shoot and kill strangely shaped villains.

"What exactly is the point to this game?" Kurt asked.

"To kill things." Finn responded. Kurt gave him some skunk eye. Dave however saved Finn from retaliation by shocking me.

"It depends on the game, but usually communication and relationship building." Dave said as he exploded something causing both to hoot with excitement. Rolling his eyes, Kurt drawled. "Really?"

"Uh-huh, how do you think we can get Puckerman not to be out after the next hot thing after practice? We mention the guys are gonna go to Breadstix and do a little Mortal Combat discuss and he's all over it." Dave said as they blasted a few more monsters. Considering how Noah often seemed more than ready to chase down anything, especially before he'd dated Lauren, Kurt wasn't surprised.

"Is that how you convinced him to stay with Glee and football?" Kurt asked Finn curiously.

"No, he joined football because it leads to cheerleaders and allows him to beat the shit out people without getting in trouble, and he joined Glee 'cause of Quinn and then learned he liked it and shit, plus I think he's still there 'cause he's so tight with us guys now, y'know?" Finn said.

"Dude, you think Puck's becoming more bro over ho?" Dave said causing Kurt to slap Dave hard in the knee. "What?" He asks looking at me amused. "I ain't includin' you with the hos so you can't say I'm calling you a girl." He cocks his head and then drawls, "though maybe Puck doesn't see it that way." I cover my face and groan. Teasing Dave is too hard to fight and I decide to ignore him.

"I really don't get you at all." I say, "but I really don't get Noah."

"Well, do you think so, Karofsky? He's actually more bro no mo' ho?" Finn says trying to navigate through some hospital type building. _Dear sweet oblivious brother_, I think, _you just totally ignore the gay innuendo and move right along don't you. _Which actually made life easier at the moment.

"I dunno man, you see him more than I do. I'm just sayin', 'cause I haven't heard him braggin' over scorin' with nobody. I mean, he's probably still screwed up over Zizes right?" Dave said frowning.

"He's not over Lauren?" I say startled. Both jocks exchange a look and shake their head.

"I swear your bro... Someday I wonder why you two ain't called the Duo of Clueless," Dave muttered under his breath.

"Dude! Not cool!" Finn whined. "I ain't clueless!" Both Dave and I laugh as Finn's distraction causes him to get offed again.

"Dude, if you were any more vacant, your mother or Kurt would have to hang an Open House sign around your neck in hope for something to move in." Dave said killing some boss and moving up another level. Laughing even harder, I roll onto my back and clutch my sides.

Finn shoots Dave a dirty look before saying, "Dude, so not cool."

Shrugging Dave merely watches Finn get killed again before saying, "Ain't my fault it's true. Ain't my fault."

* * *

Today's the first day back in school at McKinley for me and for some reason McKinley looks a hell of a lot different. Maybe it's because I'm in Kurt's car with Finn and Kurt. Maybe it's because there isn't a milling mass of teenagers discussing the week's drama. Maybe it's the fact there's a bright rainbow banner draped across the front of the building with bright white block letters saying, "Support Gay Dave!" Since I've decided to get out of the car and ignore everyone while I go to class, I'm totally fine with not learning the exact reason.

"So... You're cool with going to class?" Finn asked. I wince, I guess I can't hide the total look of terror on my face.

"Uh..." Is all I can say as I slip out of the car, backpack over my shoulder, a jacket that isn't my letterman, which causes a twinge in me, zipped up, my face partially hidden behind some scarf Kurt forced on me before we left the house. Scrubbing my face I try again. "I have to so... Yes?" Kurt's pissed at this response because he smacks me hard in the back of the head.

"You don't have to!" Kurt snaps. He's looking like the Fancy I call him bundled up in this dark blue military inspired jacket with loads of buckles, washed out jeans, boots, a bright scarf and earmuffs. I'm surprised by the earmuffs, since he's so fanatical about his hair, but I guess he has a way of putting them on that prevents them from fucking up his hair so I mentally shrug it off. Finn however looks like I do. A normal, sporty, high school dude who'd rather never have to go to school, though for different reasons.

Scratching my face, "Uh... I kinda need to." I've already accepted that while I don't ever want to go to school again, McKinley is better than Thurston and having to face all of the people who had sprayed my lockers with Fag and littered my Facebook with insults. The gay bashing was even worse there, even though I never got into it. I've tried to grow up, and thankfully I never gotten back into my bullying habits since before the Bully Whips. Readjusting my backpack I almost miss Kurt's next explosion.

"No you don't! Not if you don't want to." Kurt's clutching my arm and shaking me. I'm out of the car and he can bitch at me better.

"Dude, I might not want to, but something in me needs to." Is all I say, which causes him to shut up. He really is a good guy. Sweet, protective, and damn overbearing. Patting his shoulder awkwardly, I try to move away out of his grasp. He merely tightens it. Finn seeing how uncomfortable I am, and being a genuinely clueless dude, says, "Hey it's gonna be fine Kurt, nothing is gonna hurt Dave." I've become Dave over the few days we'd hung out since I'm coming back midway through the week. This causes Kurt to turn on Finn, and he and I both wince when Kurt lays into him. Shaking my head, I grip the hand Kurt is using to wave a finger in the face of a backing up Finn, and gently squeeze it.

"Let's just go in?" I ask. Kurt looks at me, and some of the angry leave his face and stance. Sending Finn one more glare he levels off, and we start in. Kurt's got a hold of my left wrist since I am slightly dragging my feet. We've parked in the back, since we'd gotten there rather late. So when I see the crowd waiting for me at the front I can't exactly make out who it is. Nervous, I continue walking towards them, pretty sure Finn and Kurt won't lead me into anything too bad. Wincing I realize my trust is rather misplaced since they walk me right into the clutches of the female members of Glee. Oh my God, they're gonna drive me crazy. As we reach them I'm suddenly holding a wailing Rachel who's _clinging to my neck_. It's tight just as the noose. _The way out, _a small part, okay a big part, of me whispers. _Shit!_ I can't think like that.

"We dedicated a bunch of songs for you," she cries, "did it help you? Are you feeling better? Do you want me to sing another song for you." _Oh shit, no,_ is all I can think. I look pleadingly at Kurt and Finn who are both trying to pry her off. When she starts in on The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow, they finally have her half off. Seeing my freaked out expression she thinks I'm feeling worse and just belts it louder.

"Rachel!" Kurt says urgently. I can't deal with this. I don't need this. I can feel myself starting to shut down, and I keep pushing her off. Finally getting her free I run into the school's outdoor boy's bathroom and lock myself in the middle stall. Curling up in a ball I try to calm down, but it isn't long before all the voices come back and I can feel the noose around my neck again. A few moments later I can see a bunch of shoes outside of the stall. A timid knock on the door just causes me to freak out more and I'm crying harder.

"I'm sorry, Dave," comes Finn's voice, "Rachel meant to make you feel better."

"It doesn't help dude! I can't have people clinging to my neck! It fucking reminds me." Is all I can say. Deciding to ignore everything that comes out after that I clamp my hands over my ears and start counting aloud. I'm nearly up to a hundred when Kurt's voice breaks in.

"-ve, Dave, Dave! Can you hear me? Dave?" Is what he's saying over and over again. Jesus, Kurt's really the only person who can get me out of my head when this happens.

"She doesn't fucking help dude." Is all I say back.

"She's not here anymore, the other girls dragged her away and Finn is calming her down. She's just an overly emotional diva who doesn't understand anything." Realizing it's only two pairs of shoes now I ask. "Who else is there?"

"It's just me and Mercedes." Oh damn I don't want to see her either. She's a nice person but she hates me for what I've done to Kurt.

"Oh God, Kurt, why is she here, she hates me too." Is all I can offer up.

"It's okay, she's the most sane of the girls so she stayed behind. She said she didn't need to slap Rachel again this morning and that all that crap would make her do it." Laughing disjointedly at that I feel myself calming down.

"She was always the one with the biggest balls after you Kurt." I reply back. I scrub at my face a few times knowing I look like three kinds of hell. Straightening, I unlock the door and kind of stumble out of it. Kurt's there and he instantly hands me a wet wipe. We've learned to keep them on us since I almost always breakdown at least once a day. Wiping at my face I lamely say, "Hello Mercedes," looking at her outfit I continue with saying, "you like bright and pretty." She merely nods looking sympathetic. I really must look like hell. Rubbing the back of my neck I try to keep the deep breathes coming. I know if I let them go short too soon afterward I'll breakdown again.

"So... What are you doing after class Kurt?" Mercedes asks, obviously attempting to create some normalcy where there is none. I mean really? How normal is it to talk to the suicidal, recovering, former bully who's actually gay, paranoid and having breakdowns? Kurt smiles and goes on about going to the mall after doing some homework. The girl and him talk about some new store and how their shopping prospects are going up now. Relaxing gradually, I move Kurt gently to the side before going to the sink and washing my face. He's a relaxing presence and Mercedes is actually pretty easy to be around as well.

"So..." I say breaking in, "why exactly are you going shopping again when you've already maxed out your allowance?" Both look at me, and Kurt pouts.

"Because it's fun." Kurt says simply before turning to a mirror and primping.

"But you can't buy anything." I reply. Mercedes looks a little thrown off as I see in the mirror, and I'm actually kind of relieved I'm not the only one freaked out and worried about this. I give her a quiet smile which she returns and I can feel some unseen tension leave both of us and the room. Tugging at the scarf, I grimace. I've knocked it askew. Muttering I unravel it and try to re-wrap it how Kurt did it this morning. Giving up I just toss one end over the other.

"I go because I can earmark what's in and what will be on sale in a few days, weeks, or months." Kurt says as he turns to me. He looks me up and down and I feel a different sort of dread creeping in on me. "You know," he starts, "you haven't used your allowance yet..." I eye him back.

"I am not dishing out cash for feathers or sequins." Poking at his scarf, I say, "I also don't do pastels..."

"Oh, of course not Karofsky." Mercedes says, "it would look just wrong on all that tanned skin. You'd look better in russet or maybe evergreen." I look at her totally lost, I know they're colors since she says their names like they're colors and I think I overheard them when Kurt forced me to watch Project Runway and then Project Accessory reruns with him and Carole over the weekend.

"Uh...I guess so?" Is all I can say and I see a gleam in both of their eyes that I don't trust. I inch towards the door in case either reach for the glitter I'm sure they have stashed somewhere on their body.

"How much allowance do you have left? Enough to buy some new jeans and shirts for yourself?" Kurt says innocently and I immediately see where this is going.

"I'm not going shopping for new clothes Kurt." I say weakly. He's gone all sweet on me and both he and Mercedes are giving me puppy dog eyes. I'm pretty sure Mercedes has totally forgotten that I used to bully them in the prospect of doing a total makeover on a jock.

"But Dave..." Kurt whines. I wince and try to get closer to the door, but end up boxed in right next to it. Just then Puckerman walks in at that time though, hopefully to save me.

"Yo Kurt," Puckerman says, "Finn's askin' if it's safe to release the Rachel?" I immediately look wildly at the guy, eyes begging please please please save me from all of this. Kurt cocks his head to the side and says snidely, "Only if Dave isn't free to get a makeover this afternoon." Puck winces and says to me who is obviously still looking for a way out, "I'd take that man, Rachel mentioned something about tying you to a chair so they could do the whole set we sang at Regionals for you." Kurt gives me a shit eating grin and I have to say.

"Well that's too bad, I have to go shopping with Kurt and Mercedes this afternoon."

* * *

Lol, how'd you like that, I try to mix humor into all my stories to allow some breathing space. Let me know what you think in the reviews and if you have any confusion or questions I'm always cool with answering stuff. The DavexKurt history is pretty similar to the show's and other fanfics from what I can tell, but for a few different flashbacks to come.


	3. Chapter 3

Yeah... I've been totally ignoring my freakin' finals. It's just Dave and Kurt are so much more interesting! Can you blame a girl? They're so yummy and tragic. Let's see what our heroes have in store for us this chapter, eh?

**Warning: ****MxM, mentions of suicide/self-inflicted pain, some violence, profanity, some grammar and spelling mistakes. Also I'm from the USA so my English is going to be different than you darling British and Australians and such. I apologize for any confusion ahead of time!**

I do not own Glee, but I would love a Kurtofsky pillow one day.

_**Chapter 3**_

After escaping the bathroom Dave walked with Puckman who looked immensely sympathetic. He was half way to his locker before some of his former 'friends' found them. Seeing them approach Dave could only think one thing. _Fuck. _Flinching internally, he numbly watched them approach. They stopped right in front of him. He really didn't want to talk to them, especially Strando. That guy was an even bigger homophobe than Dave had been before he figured out exactly what the fuck was going on with him. The other two boys weren't much better and Dave really didn't think he could handle another confrontation. Suddenly Rachel appeared out of nowhere before any of the group could say anything. _Damn_, thought Dave, _this just went from hellish to pure unadulterated torture._ Trying to gauge how far the nearest bathroom was from here Dave was shocked when Strando pulled him into a hug. _What the hell?_ Dave thought dazedly.

"Dude... Not cool." Strando said brokenly into Dave's shoulder. Looking at the other jocks and Rachel rather helplessly Dave stiffly patted the other boy on the back. "Dude, I know we ain't exactly cool right now, and I was a douche, but seriously, don't fucking do that again." Ah, the near death experience, that cleared a hell of a lot up. Rachel, Dave saw was watching him worried.

"He's not holding your neck too tight right?" She mouthed over the huge jock's shoulder. Well it looked like Rachel could actually learn shit about others. He smiled gently at her and continued to pat the other jock's mountain of a shoulder.

"I'm cool Strando, s'kay. I ain't exactly the healthiest I've ever been, but they got me doped up," he was lying, he wasn't on anything that serious, but he figured it'd help, "and I've been doing these three time a week psych meeting."

"Finn's been sayin' you ain't the healthiest dude in the world, Karofsky," one of the jocks said seriously. "He says there some days they have to haul you into the house and shit. That you ain't exactly cool with people around all the time and shit."_ Finn you big mouthed motherfucker, _Dave thought annoyed.

"Yeah, I'm not that cool with people sometimes. Depends on the day. I don't plan on running back into the bathroom today unless something really sucks." He said, sighing with relief when Strando finally let go. Deciding to move onto a saver topic he asked about the practices and the homework in different classes. Quietly acting as sentinels Rachel and Puckerman watched the whole bypass til the bell rang. About half way through Rachel had slipped over and held his hand. Something that he thought neither of them would want or be able to do. Finally able to get his stuff into his new locker he walked to class and settled into a seat in the back of the classroom. Immediately after he sat down the whispers and looks began. Clenching his pen he almost missed Finn and Mike settling into the chairs closest to his, blocking off people who almost immediately started shifting closer. Letting out a shaky sigh, he covered his eyes and mentally counted until the teacher came in. Knowing this was going to be a constant thing all day Dave could feel the sweat break out along his body. He took his notes and knew he'd have to go to the bathroom after this to change shirt. He was packed up to go about ten minutes before class ended, asking to be excused to the bathroom, Dave went straight to the bathroom and stripped off his jacket, sweater, scarf, and undershirt. Rubbing at his skin with a towel he took deep breaths. Clenching the edge of the bathroom sink he dunked his head under the spray. Then rubbing at his hair and face with the towel he looked himself over in the picture.

_What the hell am I gonna do? I have to survive this for another seven hours,_Dave thought. Turning off the spigot he heard the other classes empty out and knew he needed to head for his next class. Dragging the shirt on, he reached for his sweater when he heard a startled, "Oh!" Surprised, he looked to the side and saw another jock standing there. He was new, and he was wearing a football letterman. _Probably the guy who replaced me,_ Dave thought. Smiling weakly at the other boy, Dave tugged the sweater on, then pulled the jacket on. Picking up Kurt's fabric he rubbed it before rewrapping it around his neck. Taking a deep breath he was struck suddenly by how similar it smelt to Kurt's aftershave, lotion, and shampoo. The scent instantly relaxed him and he left the bathroom with his backpack and damp shirt. Shoving it back into his locker, he wasn't prepared when someone rammed him from behind. Banging his head against the edge he felt a sharp pain. Shaking his head to clear it, he turned to see a group of giggling freshmen rushing by chattering about some inane thing. Pushing the panic and fear down, Dave took a deep breath and breathed in Kurt. Heading to his next class he adjusted the scarf so it was closer to his nose and mouth. He could almost hear Kurt saying everything was going to be just fine.

Three hours later, somehow I've made it to lunch. I see Finn waving at me from across the hall, so I walk over and sit down into a chair next to him. The seating arrangement luckily let's me put my back to the wall so no one can walk up behind me and accidentally startle me. That's something that doesn't go well for me or the person who does it on purpose or on accident. Finn's done it a couple of times and I nearly punched him once and ended up having to take one of the pill that kept me from going into a panic attack. Pulling out the prepacked lunch I dig into my sandwich. My appetite has changed and I still can't really stomach anything to heavy on my stomach. My body has turned weird and moody on me. I'm just as likely to throw up as cry after eating, during eating, or before. Poor Carole had been so worried the first time it had happened. Drinking quietly from my water bottle I watch and smile as the other Glee people join us. The girls are clearly quieter and the boys aren't as rowdy as they usually are which makes me sad. I don't want to be a downer and consider leaving early. Then Kurt shows up. Setting up shop next to me, he gives me a bump and I laugh.

"What?" I say eating an apple. I still love apples and this one's a Granny Smith.

"I should have done what you did this morning! I should have packed a lunch, it's absolutely impossible to find anything decent to eat!" Kurt complains as he digs into a limp salad. Rachel mutters something of an affirmation. She's a vegan as it turns out and the school definitely the worse place to eat for a vegan ever.

Grimacing at it I offer, "Want the other sandwich I packed? I'm not as hungry as I planned to be. I also have a bag of trail mix."

"You sure?" Kurt asks and I nod. As I over him the food, Finn starts complaining as well.

"Dude, why didn't you tell me you had more food I'm still hungry!" Finn says whining. I shake my head in disgust.

"Dude you just ate a whole pizza, two hamburgers and three bags of chips! How the hell are you still hungry? I mean seriously where do you put it?" The whole table scrunches their faces at the mention of how much greasy cafeteria food Finn has eaten. Rachel looks at me and asks, "Did he really eat all of that? Before we even go here?"

I snort in amusement, "That's just from when I got here. I was one of the first people in here, and Finn was already unwrapping the burger wrappers. He'd already finished the pizza." Kurt laughs at this and I feel even more relaxed. "I'm serious," I say laughing. "The guy saw me come up and sighed sadly when he realized I wasn't going to go buy food. I'm pretty sure if I had he would have given more some money to go buy him something. How do your parents handle the food bills?" This makes the whole group laugh and suddenly the ice is broken. They're all talking over one another, discussing how much this class sucks or Nationals. Puckerman and Artie talk about a BioShock marathon and I interject that it might not be a good idea to have Finn on either of their teams which earns me a shoulder shove. I flip him off and finish my apple. Pulling out a stick of gum I tell him to do what he does best and chew. Laughing, he takes it and we end up in a long discussion over which gun in Mortal Combat is best. Considering he usually ends up incorrectly detonating or shooting like shit, I tell him he might do better with hand to hand fighting games which gives him pause and he actually admits to being better at them. There's a break in the conversation as some of the members get up to leave. When Kurt stands up I snag his wrist and tug him down so his ear is next to my mouth, I ask, "do you have any of your body spray with you?" He gives me a superior look.

"Of course I do David." He's taken to calling me David, which I rather like.

"Could I use it for a bit?" I ask him quietly still. He cocks an eyebrow. I can't help but throw in, "Also dude, this scarf is totally my scarf now."

"Your scarf? I thought you didn't do pastels." He says snidely, and I grimace.

"There's no pastels in this scarf. It's a very manly blue plaid." I tell him in response. He merely snickers, and I feel like he's hiding something from me but he stops being a diva and pulls out the scent. Smiling he hands it to me and I spray some on the scarf, refreshing the smell I've come to rely on to get through the day. He cocks his head to the side, and yes, I admit, the motions are weird but thankfully he gives me a _We'll-talk-about-it-later_ look. I merely shrug, return the bottle, and he leaves. Turning to pack up my bag I see the rest of the table looking at me weirdly.

"What?" I ask nervously.

"You're really not that bad a guy are you?" Mercedes asks.

"Uh... I'm a dick when playing with games and I didn't have my shit together when I was bullying you guys, something I really regret. So... I'm not that sure of the answer. I also used to be pretty influenced by the 'status quo' which made me be an asshole." I scratch my neck awkwardly and tug the scarf up over my nose and mouth hiding my neck from them as well. Taking deep breathes I let Kurt's smell calm me down.

"Well... Everyone's a dickhead when they're playing games and they're especially fucked up when they're pressured and unsure of shit." Puckerman says in reply, "but the whole weirdo scarf thing is new dude." I flush at this.

"Uh... Yeah, sorry if the scarf thing is weird." I mumble into the scarf. I really don't want to explain it but there goes Rachel being her damn pain in the ass self.

"What? That's new?" She looks me over, and continues, "it is pretty weird, why do you do it? And you're stealing it from Kurt?" Oh shit she's overheard. "What's up with that? It doesn't really seem your style." Damn, now the whole table is zeroed in on the scarf thing. Struggling to figure out how to explain it I bunch in on myself.

"I, uh," I start, "I calm down a lot when Kurt's around. Which sounds really stupid since it used to be that merely mentioning his name used to push me into being an over aggressive asshole."

"That doesn't explain the scarf thing white boy." Mercedes says. The whole table is being very careful with me, and poor Finn is looking more worried than usual.

"Do you need me to text Kurt Dave?" Finn asks. Finn already understands the whole "Kurt can calm me down and prevent me from going crazy" deal. Mercedes has an idea of it, but she doesn't realize how extreme an effect he has on me.

"No, Finn, s'kay." I mumble, I play with the ends of the scarf and my bag for a few seconds before saying, "Kurt has a way of calming me down. I dunno if it's his scent, or his voice or the fact he was the first person to know I was gay or because he was the first person I came out to... But just having him around sometimes prevents me from having one of my attacks." They all blink at the word 'attacks'. I'm sensing I'm over sharing but it's already out there and I figure screw it, they asked.

"Attacks," Tina says faintly. I really don't like where this is going but dammit it needs to be out there.

"It probably sounds weird, but I have trauma over my suicide attempt. The whole thing was due to a lot of repressed shit, and though attempting suicide calmed some of it down, a lot of it just got worse and worse. Some of the things are triggers, like not being able to sleep in my room or people saying certain things to me. I don't like people coming out of nowhere or people clinging to my neck too tightly like you saw this morning. Actually, anything overly tight around my neck can cause me to freak out, and sometimes I'll just shut down and end up in a ball somewhere." Finn nods at the last statement.

"Yeah, he ended up on the roof like that the other night." I shudder at the memory. "He and I went up there 'cause being outdoors helps him and shit, then the next thing I know he's curled up and freaking the hell out. Kurt talked him out of most of it but it was pretty bad there for a couple seconds."

"You took him up to the roof?" Rachel says aghast. I shake my head at that.

"No, he found me on the roof. He was trying to talk me down til I got pissed at him and told him being outdoors relaxed me. Which it usually does. Something about being in a closed in place after being in the closet isn't that easy for me. I guess deciding to commit suicide in a closet has made me a little claustrophobic." The group becomes pretty pale at the details of my suicide, and I don't exactly blame them. However, now that I've started talking, nothing can stop me. "He almost had me down and shit, when I choked on something and flipped out."

"Kurt got him down by talking to him, calling his name over and over." Finn says. I nod and fiddle with the ends of the scarf breathing in Kurt.

"The doctor said that since Kurt was the person I tried to contact before I did the deed and who I relied on most through my transition position means he's ingrained on me or some stupid assed shit. Apparently, I look to him as a support and a fail safe."

"Still doesn't explain the scarf, Dave," Rachel says quietly. I stroke it between my fingers.

"I started freaking out during class and ended up having to change shirts 'cause I panic sweated too much. After I finished changing I accidentally caught a whiff of Kurt's aftershave on the scarf and instantly calmed down. I tested it out again when some freshmen accidentally slammed me into my locker and I nearly overloaded," I touch the bruise on the edge of my forehead just in reflection and they all zero in on it, "and found the smell calms me down since it reminds me of Kurt. Kurt calms me down." I said. "The whole morning since has been me coping by sniffing the scarf which is why I have this weird attachment to it now and got Kurt to let me spray it with more scent." I stop and let the group process it all. Even Finn is thinking it over and he's been stuck in the middle of it for several days.

"So if you ever really freak the hell out..." Artie says slowly, "we should shove something that smells like Kurt under your nose?" I pause to consider it.

"Well... It might be easier to call him or let me cope. It depends on what's happening, you can't make me smell things when I'm having a nightmare or I don't want anyone near me." The girls exchange a glance obviously remembering I locked myself in a stall in the bathroom this morning. It's actually been one of my better days though I don't tell them that. I shrug, and say, "other shit calms me down, and if you can get me to take one of my panic pills I'll be okay after that too. And with that I feel like I've over shared." The whole group kind of grimaces.

"They, hell I, need to know what to do if you freak out man." Finn says seriously causing me too look at him. "I've been living with you the last four days and it's clear you've been trying to make it easier on others by not reaching out, but it ends up with worse spells." I frown at this.

"I thought I was getting better." I tell him timidly. He shakes his head.

"You cope better with Kurt there, but from what I've seen it just hits harder, rather than faster. The night on the roof wasn't nearly as bad as this morning."

"Well I was more relaxed that night and this morning I was already terrified. I mean even sitting hear with you guys is hard." They all look at me startled. "Yeah, I'm relaxed, but I'm always scared of what happened that week, and all the other shit I've imagined, happening. Like I said, it's not only the suicide that's fucking with me, it's the three years of denial and self-inflicted torture I've been doling out. It didn't make me happier picking on you although it always seemed that way to you. It didn't fix that I was gay, or that my mother thinks I need to go to a doctor to convince me my "gay lifestyle choice" is the wrong one. It doesn't help that my best friend turned his back on me and didn't even wait for me to explain shit to him. I've already been disowned by my grandfather and that many of my relatives, who used to compare their children to me, think I'm absolute shit. One even called me in the hospital and wished me better luck with a second attempt. My father had a field day on his brother-in-law when he found out about it, it nearly pushed back my release day and I had to be medicated heavier for a few hours." They all went pale at that except for Rachel who turns a dark reddish purple color.

"They said what?" Rachel nearly screeches out. I wince and huddle into my scarf. That causes a lot more looks around the cafeteria to become pointed in our direction. Rachel is shushed by Tina and Mercedes look just about ready to kill her.

"It's all over my Facebook, email, and Twitter account as well. My father and Burt won't let me on a computer without supervision. They're scared something will set me off again." I say simply. Suddenly the whole group is pulling out smartphones and looking up the shit. Suddenly typing and all sort of dinging sounds are being made. "Uh... What are you guys doing?"

"Getting online to raise some hell with those douche bags. Just because Santana is the queen bitch in our circle, and Kurt's the resident ice queen doesn't mean we don't become rather nasty when one of our own gets fucked with." Artie said rather fiercely. I blink at the one of our own comment and feel tears bubble up. Mercedes sees this and comes over.

"Dave, sweetie," she says hugging me, "it's okay, don't cry." I hug her around the middle and shake my head trying hold back. She rubs my back soothingly and everybody starts whispering worriedly. "Oh sugah, ain't nothin' wrong." She says and I finally breakdown crying into her stomach.

"I didn't know I belonged," I mumbled into her shirt. She hugs me tighter.

"Dude you were the most popular kid at school before you transferred," Puckerman says startled. Sobbing into Mercedes I say almost incoherently, "but I was hiding everything I was so hard that nobody actually knew me. And then everyone hated me even more 'cause I was stuck hiding and I didn't belong even more." I cry harder into Mercedes and she keeps patting my back. Finally lunch ends and Finn hands me a wet wipe. It tells you how often I breakdown when Finn, clueless sweet Finn, is carrying wet naps around with him. The whole group just watches me pull myself back together, and then Mercedes readjusts my scarf so it lays nicely. I snuggled close to it and hug her again.

"I'm okay now." I scrub my eyes tiredly after releasing her.

"Dude, you so soft now." Puckerman says eying me awkwardly, like I'm some sort of chick who is on her period. I frown at the thought of that.

"Just because I cry more, admit that I'm gay, and won't return to football because I'm not sure how I'd handle all of the other jock's reactions doesn't mean I won't or can't punch you in the mouth for being douche. It just means I'll end up upset afterward and you'll have to deal with a crying freaked out Dave while everyone else kicks your ass." Puckerman winces at me and the jocks at the next table, who over hear this obviously reevaluate screwing with me. "I mean really, who want's to set off the poor suicidal Dave?" I say bitterly. "I'm a fucking bipolar, ugly as shit mess. I'm as likely to beat the shit out of you as collapse." Finn winces at this. I instantly feel bad and apologize again, "I'm still really sorry about nearly punching you the other day Finn." He winces again.

"I know man, my mom told me not to tease you like that, I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd beaten me up, hell I nearly got thrashed by both Burt and Kurt when they found out. I'm still getting bitched at by Kurt over it." He replies giving my shoulder a friendly bump. I force myself to relax. Walking away with Mercedes, we have English together now, I hear Puckerman, Artie and Mike ask about the near punch. All I can hear is Finn saying, "whatever you do don't put your hands over his eyes from behind, and don't jump on his back. He tossed me onto the couch for the jump thing, but he nearly cleaned my clock for the whole eye thing then he _cried _and wouldn't leave the bathroom for an hour. Plus Kurt threatened to shave me bald and rip my eyes out. It was scary as hell. My _mom_ yelled at me. And she _never_ yells practically." Seeing my expression over the conversation both Mercedes and I can still clearly hear, she gives me a hug and we enter the classroom. Several of people from lunch look at me curiously. Some are also fearful, others are guarded, but there's a lot of pity. Something I'm not sure about. Putting it away, I listen to the teacher drone on about the Transcendentalist period and take notes. The next few classes are a blur while I keep my face buried in my notes, textbooks and Kurt's scarf. Sucking in Kurt's scent I feel heat pulse in my chest. So as much as I want to cling to him, I know that it isn't good for either of us. I shouldn't be overly dependent on Kurt. Kurt's going to find someone someday. He doesn't need a broken jock holding him back. So even though I love Kurt, as much as I need him... I have to start figuring out shit on my own. Breathing in his scent I hold back his tears and ignore the possibility that being without Kurt won't stop me from stepping off the ledge the next time, sucking back some pills, or walking into that closet again to properly finish the job.

OMG... This is so emotionally draining sometimes. You just feel like you've carved out a piece of yourself and plunked it down for people to grade, read, and fantasize about. I feel so bad for Dave, and I'm so pissed we don't get to see how he recovers at all. I'm so mad there hasn't been any mention of him in the next season! Urgh. Anyway, I hope you have comments, questions and concerns. I'm already a review ho. LOL and I've only had my story up like... three days. Hopefully you can keep reading!

Love and felicitations,

Amni 3


	4. Chapter 4

So yeah... Sorry about taking so long to update. I got caught up in some stuff due to lack of sleep and exams. Sorry for all those waiting! I'll try to get onto chapter 5 right away.

**Warning: ****MxM, mentions of suicide/self-inflicted pain, some violence, profanity, some grammar and spelling mistakes. Also I'm from the USA so my English is going to be different than you darling British and Australians and such. I apologize for any confusion ahead of time!**

I don't own glee, but they own a piece of my heart!

_**Chapter 4**_

Dave fast walked to Kurt's car. It was parked in the back, and upon seeing Mercedes and Finn waiting for Kurt, Dave smiled and walked even faster. Mercedes saw him and waved. Scooping her up for a quick hug he smiled into to bouncing curls.

"Whoa! Put down the sweet momma sugah, Auntie 'Cedes doesn't like being up in the air unless it's on a plane to somewhere fabulous!" Giving her another squeeze be for he set down carefully Dave just flashed her a smile. She eyed him after adjusting her clothes, "you're awfully friendly now that you're out." She says, then gave him a hug in return. Finn responded before he could.

"You should see them with Carole. She tripped on the stairs and he ended up carrying her around for an hour." Dave blushed furiously and Mercedes awwed long and sweetly.

"She twisted her ankle and she wasn't sure whether she wanted to be in bed or stay and watch me cook." Slapping a hand over his mouth Dave couldn't believe he just said that aloud.

"Oh yeah, Dave's a great cook." Finn said breaking out in a wide smile. "He made lasagna last night and did a really good job at hiding the tofu. He also made this really good vinaigrette to go over a salad and then he made this bar thing that Kurt even ate."

"It was made of oatmeal and cherries, it's healthy to eat and easy to make, of course Kurt ate it." Dave felt slightly offended at the mention his food might not have been eaten.

"Yeah but Kurt's a food Nazi." Finn said. Mercedes was laughing and eying Dave with even more interest.

"You sure you're gay sugah?" Mercedes asked wistfully.

"I tried making out with both Brittany and Santana, neither did anything for me. I've always been interested in guys I think. I remember spinning the bottle in middle school and hoping it landed on this boy and nearly crying when it ended up on the cutest girl in school sitting next to him." Dave said scratching his head.

"Dammit," Mercedes groused. "Why are all the good guys gay?"

"Oh so Sam's gay?" Kurt says as he comes up, surprising Dave. Snuggling into the scarf he has to shove back his nerves caused by sucking in Kurt's scent. Kurt startled him and he was depending on the scent of Kurt in his scarf to calm him down, weird. Kurt smiles apologetically before patting him on the forearm. Mercedes flushes and swats him on the arm. Smiling, he puts both Kurt and Mercedes' bags in the trunk, loading them for the two who are now absorbed in a recent sale coming up in a few days. Sliding into the back seat, he's content to listen to the banter between the three, although Finn's banter is more like complaints over lack of food, not clothing like Kurt and Mercedes. Staring out the window Dave falls asleep.

Kurt is pretty sure Dave is ready to kill both Mercedes and him or himself in the next twenty minutes. Finn had, wisely, stayed back at the house when he realized exactly what they were up to after an hour of homework. Currently in the new department store in the mall both Mercedes and Kurt had Dave pinned against the three-way mirror trying to get him to put on a vest.

"What's the point of a vest?" He squawks out. He has it half on and we're trying to convince him that although we forced it halfway on he should fully try it on since he already has it _halfway on._ Yes, it's a circling argument, but we figure since he can't run out of the store on us again, he had to wear it now. Early, when he wasn't wearing clothes with tags on at the first attempt to escape, which Kurt figures was really smart on his part when he realized how insane Kurt and Mercedes got, however there was no escaping now. Dave was stuck. _But he looks cute,_ Kurt thought trying to hide some of the guilt and Dave does of course. He's wearing fitted black jeans, not skin tight (he'd relaxed at that til he saw where we were head with shirts then vests and he'd completely tried to bolt again), a tight green button down, and half-on half-off black vest.

"Dammit boy!" Mercedes snarls, "put the damn thing on, 'cause the sooner you get it on the sooner we can get the hell out of this store." _Ah, there's my sneaky 'Cedes,_ Kurt thinks as Dave gives in and shrugs it fully on. "Now the hat," she says grimly. Sighing he puts it on and he, in his awesomeness, readjusts it so it's tilting roguishly over Dave's left eye. Turning Dave around to look in the mirrors, the singer says determinedly, "See? Don't you think you look fantastic?" Dave studies it for a few seconds, tips the hat back, and then immediately attempts to get the vest off. Throwing his hands up Kurt can barely resist smacking Dave. Obviously so fed up with the outfit Dave actually starts stripping the shirt off there in the hallway. He's actually oblivious to the fact both Kurt and Mercedes were getting prime eye candy material and just eating it up. _Just look at those pecs, yummy yummy,_ slips through Kurt's head and he has to shove Dave into the changing room when Dave finally gets the shirt off and goes to town on the belt buckle and pant's top button. Shutting the door Kurt can hear the lock snick and leans back against it hard. Mercedes stands across from him merely waving her hand in front of her face.

Grabbing his hand she tugs Kurt out of the changing room area, and out of Dave's hearing hopefully, before whispering, "Why the hell didn't we know Dave was hot man candy before now? I mean we didn't look at him that much since he was a bully, but daaaaaaaaaaaaamn. I wouldn't mind cloning a straight version of him and locking it to my bed." She murmurs a few things to her self that Kurt doesn't catch but Kurt already has a good idea because they're running through his own overheated gay boy brain. Seeing that chest brought back that kiss under the bleachers a few days ago and remembering the pressure of his lips under his own causes Kurt to flush even brighter and he crosses legs nervously.

"Dammit, come look at how stupid I am," Dave's voice growls out behind him. Turning around Kurt sees a slouching Dave in an outfit he helped to pick out. He's wearing charcoal slacks pleated at the waist with a plain black belt and a dark green sweater with the sleeves shoved up to elbows bring out the green in his hazel eyes. But it's the parts uncovered that Kurt's eyes go to instantly. Zooming in on the hollow of his throat Kurt gulps back the sudden inclination to lean over and lick it.

"You look good Dave," Mercedes says from behind me. Kurt numbly nods in agreement. "You actually look positively edible." She purrs jokingly, causing him to turn beet red. Mumbling about trying on the earlier shirt with these pants he shuffles back into the changing room. Turning back to Mercedes she gives Kurt an arched eyebrow. He was only able to lamely say, "Oh baby take me home and let me take it all off." She throws her head back laughs. He's starting to wonder if he'll survive this shopping trip.

Four hours later, six department shops and a surprisingly large amount of clothing bags later Kurt drives them back to the house after dropping off 'Cedes. Dave is looking positively exhausted. As he drags in most of the bags, we're greeted by a surprised looking Finn and Burt.

"Looks like you boys had fun," Burt says rather surprised. Dave looks at my father and the next thing that comes out of his mouth is, "Never again. Never. Again." Silently Kurt has to agree, seeing Dave partially naked and sulking has shot his nerves since he'd been trying to hide how much he'd have enjoyed it all afternoon. Dave goes up the stairs with Kurt following him up. Dave tosses his jacket and his new scarf on the right side of his bed before sorting out the clothes and clipping tags. Helping him move the clothes into the _acceptable_ storage Kurt watches him sneakily. Dave has half a smile as he puts the last shirt on the night stand. He doesn't want to put them in the drawers for some dumb reason. Kurt could understand avoiding the closet, but not putting things in drawers? _Weird_, was all he could think.

"You coming down soon? For dinner?" Kurt asks after everything is done, and Dave shakes his head.

"I'm pretty exhausted, ask Carole to not bother with me? I'll probably make a sandwich later. I just want to sleep." Dave says sitting down hard on the bed. He toes off his shoes, and Kurt has to squelch the totally inappropriate suggestion that pops into his head. "G'night Kurt," Dave's says stretching back onto the bed not even seeing if the other boy is leaving the room. Quietly, Kurt watches over Dave as he slowly drifts off into sleep. Waiting til the football player's breathe deepens, Kurt moves to stand right next to him. Touching his forehead with the barest tips of fingers Kurt draws them down the curve of Dave's face to his chin right below his lips. _This is the closest I've gotten to touching his lips since that strange kiss four days ago_, Kurt thinks and he can feel the soft breaths puffing out against his fingers. Timidly he touches them. They're dry, but warm. Pulling his hand back Kurt touches the very tips of them to his own lips. Watching this boy, nearly a man, pulling his life together... Watching him deal with fears and learning everyday exactly what he's made of, has touched something in Kurt._ I know I love how his body feels against mine,_ Kurt thinks_, that's been established in the horrible debacle of our second kiss. I like the Dave I'm getting to know, but is that merely friendship?_ Reaching out again he almost touches him again but freezes when Dave stirs slightly Kurt freezes. Mumbling under his breath Dave's hands scrambles around for something. Finally they touch the edge of the scarf that Kurt lent him this morning as a joke, and he drags it up to his chest and he curls around it, snuggling it close to face, burying his nose in the fabric. Feeling his eyes fill, Kurt sits on the edge and touches Dave's hair softly. The curls are springy and soft. Sighing with relief, he watches Dave fall into deep peaceful sleep.

Getting up, Kurt quietly leaves the room. _This troubled boy inspires me... He inspires me to be at my best and my very worst at the very same time, _Kurt thinks. Feeling a tear slide down his face he goes down the stairs to tell Carole that neither Dave or him are up to eating right now. Climbing back up the stairs to his room he passes by Dave's door and can see him still snuggled up around the borrowed scarf. _It has to be my favorite scarf now, if only because Dave loves it so much, _Kurt thinks. Going into his room he collapses onto his bed. Confused, he looked at the mirror over his dresser and stare at the well dressed and coiffed figure laying on my bed.

"Just who exactly am I?" Kurt murmur curiously to himself. Closing his eyes he fell asleep fully dressed and wrinkling a two-hundred dollar candy red jacket with embellished buckles.

Jerking awake Kurt can hear soft footfalls going down the stairs. Sitting up Kurt scrubs at the sleep clotting my eyes and grimaces in disgust when some of the gunk and make-up rub off on his hand. _Ewww,_ he thinks,_ why did I fall asleep before removing my make-up_. After removing his jacket, sweater and boots and cleans and treats his face against break outs he acknowledges the embarrassing grumbles of his stomach. Deciding some soup and crackers are in store, he softly pads down the hallway then the stairs to the kitchen. Freezing in the doorway he takes in a half naked Dave poking through the refrigerator picking out different things. Kurt must have made some sort of noise because Dave jerked his head up and bangs it right into the ice maker. Swearing softly under his breath Dave steps back and fully straightens rubbing his head. Kurt takes in the sheepish grin as Dave drawls, "I'm guessin' I wasn't the only wanting a midnight snack." Dave steps back after grabbing some leftover baked chicken and goes around to the other side of the kitchen where other foodstuffs are piled. Unable to move, Kurt is stuck watching the muscles play in Dave's back as he cuts different things and mixes them with low calorie mayo and then spreads it on oatmeal bread. Dave looks up as he's about to take a bite. Clearly surprised by Kurt's intense staring he asks, "Dude, are you okay?" Snapping out of it, Kurt nods lamely. Obviously he's not impressed by total faking of "I'm okay and I'm not trying to resist jumping you" face, Dave sets the sandwich down, wipes his hands off before moving to Kurt. Carefully Dave checks the other boy's forehead for heat, "Are you alright Kurt?" he asks Kurt.

Feeling his tongue swell in his mouth and his brains already limited functions shutting down, Kurt can only focus on over six feet of deliciousness. Completely unable to say anything he merely breathes in husky scent of Dave's while enjoying the warmth close proximity gives. However, the happy happy joy joy times are over when Dave's cell buzzes. Frowning, he tugs it out. Reading the text message his eyebrows drop down, and he moves away as he punches a few buttons and calls whoever sent the message. Worried, Kurt shifted over closer and tried to mouth to the other boy, "who is it?"

The question is answered about five seconds letter when Dave's head shoots back and he says, "Santana are you okay? I just got your text message... Uh-huh, uh-huh, what the fuck?" Each word just gets angrier and angrier. He glances to the side and Kurt can _fell _the anger in the look. Tingling at how powerful Dave looks at this moment Kurt bites his lip. _Bad body, _he mentally whisper to it,_ you do not get turned on when something is obviously going wrong._ Trying to ignore a totally inappropriate, growing erection Kurt tries to figure out what the hell is going on.

Moving a bit closer he can barely hear Santana's broken sobbing and hysterical voice on the other end. She's saying something along the lines of her family has finally snapped and her brother just tried to beat her and Brittany so they'd go back to being normal girls who knew their place. After a few more minutes of quiet discussion Dave hangs up after promising to come and help. The boys exchange glances and both are furious. Kurt isn't surprised when Dave asks him, "Can we wake up your parents I think 'Tana needs a place to crash tonight." Only able to nod he takes Dave's hand the boys clamber back up the stairs. Dave breaks away and goes to get a shirt on while Kurt knocks on his parents' door. Carole, the lighter sleeper of the two, answers it concerned. After a brief whispered conversation she nods that it's alright for them to stay. Heading back to Dave's room the other boy is surprised to see it empty. Looking around he sees the football player quietly knocking on Finn's door. Dave looks to the side and sees Kurt's questioning look.

"We might need back up," he says bluntly in response. Realizing Dave's carrying one of the bat's Kurt's father has in every room in the house in case of a burglar, Kurt only nods. The grip on it is white and the singer can almost see the angry pulse of the larger boy's veins. Turning away he decides to get a hold of a few friends who were close enough to help and would be up at this time. Finn opens the door and groggily asks what's going on while Kurt starts texting Noah and Sam. Both like Santana even though she's a bit of a bitch and both quickly answer him back. They'll meet the three boys there. Tugging some sneakers on Kurt stops to snag the bat from his room. Finn's carrying a golf club and they all pile into the Navigator. Heading to Lima Heights Kurt can positively feel Dave getting angrier. When they get there Kurt and Dave can see Brittany and Santana fighting with a couple men. Not even fully pulled over, Dave's out and hauling ass towards them. Wincing as the first on get picked up and thrown about five feet into a low fence causing him to flip over into a yard Kurt can hear Finn's low whistle. Hearing dogs barking Kurt is pretty sure the man is going to need plenty of ice and stitches. Seeing Dave start to pummeling a man trying to pin Brittany to the ground makes both of the other boys cheer, but when another man tries to punch Santana in the face Kurt takes exception. He slams the body of the bat full fledge into the aggressors stomach. The man stumbles back and falls to the ground when Kurt swings the bat a few times near the face, letting the older man hear the hard hiss of air as it passes close to his face.

"Sweetie," Kurt says to him in a falsetto voice, "there ain't nothin' worse than picking on a woman. Especially one with lots and lots of friends. So please don't be a two dickheaded moron." Neatly and not daintily he stomps heel first on the man's dick. "But look, I've fixed your problem. Now you only have one dickhead." Looking up from the man rolling around on the ground cupping his junk, Kurt stops to see if there's any other imbeciles to pound on. However all Kurt sees is Noah, Finn, Sam and Brittany watching Santana and Dave pretty much beat the living shit of four other guys. Of course one of the guys is the one who was thrown into the fence and then attacked be dogs so he is not sure he counts. But it doesn't make it any the less impressive. Walking over to Brittany the countertenor gives her a hug.

"How you holding up Britt?" The slender brunette asks, wincing at her split lip and the bruise coloring the girl's left cheek. She smiles sweetly at him before saying, "I'm good now Kurt. Thank you. I just hope Honey finishes up soon so we can go back to sweet lady kisses." Giving her a peck on the cheek Kurt looks over in time to see Dave and Santana dragging the last two men over to the fence. Dave throws both over and he realizes they've dumped all the men into the dog invested yard to be gnawed on. Pleased with his friends efforts the slender boy waves at them excitedly. Dave shoots them a full happy grin while Santana calls out expletives in Spanish to the men being attacked by the dogs before grinning at them fiercely. Both wander over and get a kiss from Brittany though Dave's is only a peck on the cheek and Santana's is a full on game of tonsil hockey. Wrinkling his nose Kurt says, "You got any bags or such?" Brittany shakes her head while Santana scowls.

"Nah, we ain't got any of that shit. My stupid brothers decided to go all holy on me and throw it in the trash while I was at school. Brittany and I was on a date until about an hour ago when we got back and found their stupider with drink asses. They took exception when I tried to get my stuff back and then I had to call you." Sighing he looks them over.

"You might fit into some of my old things. They might be a bit big though." The fashionista in him would probably be pouting for a few days, but the nice side tells it to shut the fuck up.

"You can always borrow my sweats too." Dave says with a smile. "Or let Fancy take you clothes shopping like he did today. I'm sure you'll enjoy being dragged to at least a dozen different places." He says teasingly. Kurt smacks him in the shoulder and instantly feel remorseful when he hisses.

"Oh, did I hit a wound or something?" The singer asks worried. He can't tell what Santana or Dave look like but since they've taken on four of the five guys makes he's pretty sure they're going to look colorful for the next couple days.

"S'kay Fancy, it isn't worse than anything I got while playing football." Dave said giving the other boy's hair a rumple and merely chuckles at the disgruntled squawk. "Now lets get in the car and take you guys back to the Hummel-Hudson's." He looks at Noah and Sam who are both watching him with appreciation he smiles apologetically. Sorry you missed out on the fun dudes. I know how you like pound on dicks Puckerman." Noah merely smirks at Dave's clever innuendo and Sam just seems to bend over in laughter while Finn looks at them confused. Santana mumbles something about that's her best gay boy while Brittany strokes her hair soothingly. I buff my nails and wait for things to happen.

"Dude you never slammed on us as hard as you did those guys, not even when we were playing football." Noah says after a while with a whistle and Sam nods in agreement, recovering from his bout with laughter.

"Neither of ever you have punched a woman on purpose multiple times." Dave says simply, "you've never pissed me off enough that I had to pound some decency in you." Santana goes weak at the knees at this point and Dave swoops her up in his arms. "Now let get you somewhere you can snuggle with your sweetheart, dear Satan." He carries her over to the car with Brittany and the others following him.

"I'm going to catch a ride with Sam and Puck," Finn calls out and Kurt nods at him. The bats in the back and Dave carefully settles Santana in the middle with her head in Brittany's lap before climbing into the front passenger's seat.

"Where to strong warrior," Kurt says jokingly.

"Homeward bound lowly knave," he replies straight faced until he laughs saying, "step on it." The brunette steps on it.

Arriving back at the house, Dave carries in both sleeping girls. Settling them in his current room he heads back down the stairs for a quick shower, the feel of blood and grime is unpleasant, however the whole night catches up with him. Throwing up quietly in the toilet, his body proves that it really didn't approve of all the violence so soon after being cornered and the disparaging slurs against gays. His therapist had been talking to him about working out his aggression in a safe secured way. _I wonder if beating the shit out of assholes counts,_ he mused bitterly.

"Dave?" Kurt's soft voice said from behind him. He closed his eyes, trust Kurt to know exactly what was going on. The sound of two glasses being set on tile drew his gaze to the water waiting for him and he nearly smiled. Throwing up on an empty stomach sucked big-time. He saw the lower part of Kurt's body settle next to him, and he nearly sighed with relief when Kurt started rubbing his back. "Are you okay? Is it because of your injuries?" Kurt asked. This time Dave did sigh.

"No, I just threw up because of their comments. They said some really cruel things to Santana and Brittany while they were hurting them. The blood and shit..." Dave's head spun at the thought and he had to throw up again before continuing. "Th-They said something about tying them up til they changed I think, and it made me think of that afternoon again and all I could think was they didn't deserve something like that." Kurt just nodded quietly and handed him the glass of water. He drank, grateful. His voice was scratchy and harsh from the bile burning it and the phantom feel of the rope slowly choking him. Deciding he needed to distract himself he asked the question that had been drifting silently in his head since it happened, "Why exactly did you kiss me the other day Kurt?"

Surprised by the question Dave watched as Kurt's mind shifted topics. The other boy moved back and took up his own glass. Dave watched the other boy take a few sips. Finally, Kurt said, "because you didn't wake up to anything else."

"So... It was like a Sleeping Beauty move or something?" Dave said, squelching the disappointment that came with that comment, making sure none of it sounded in his voice. _Seriously Dave, _he thought to himself, _what the hell did you expect? He's said before that you're not his type, and hell why would he want to? You fucking bullied him for a year before coming to you senses and RUNNING AWAY from him, Jesus. _

"More like a last ditch effort. You scared me when you started gasping and thrashing like you did Dave, I was worried you were going to hurt yourself. I was scared you'd wake up senseless and make a run for it or hurt yourself. I didn't actually know what I was doing until I did it." Kurt said softly.

Dave rubbed his neck nervously, before saying, "Then can you explain the kissing that happened afterward?"

Kurt shifted awkwardly at this, "Uhm," he starts, "I really got upset when you were disparaging yourself."

"So you kissed me?" Dave said incredulously, "I get that I'm pretty damn pathetic right now Kurt, but I don' think kissing me makes that much a difference." Kurt winces.

"Okay, I said that badly, uhm..." He starts, Dave watches in bewilderment as Kurt seems to mentally organize, toss out, and reorganize his arguments. Finally he seems to decide on something, "I have body issues, Dave." Dave nods, he's pretty sure everyone had body issues, but whatever as long as Kurt explained himself. Kurt continued, "When I heard you commenting on your own body with my own stupid, half-delusional, and totally misinterpreted lies I felt horrible. Your body is entirely desirable. I wanted to do something nice for you."

Dave felt pretty damn crappy after the last sentence. He sighed before scrubbing his face, "Kurt," he said, "do me a favor?" He looked at the boy and waited for him to nod.

"Don't fucking kiss me if it's only some stupid assed favor. Kissing is supposed to mean more than that for both of us. I might be fucked up, but I don't need pity sex, making out or whatever the fuck goes through your head when you decide to do dumb ass things." Dave got up after that, taking his water he left a pale Kurt sitting dazed.

_Well fuck_, thought Kurt weakly, _you really just suck at this don't you Kurt._

A/N: Well I finally answered xechada's question hopefully. I actually ended up rewriting the whole kiss conversation two or three times. I started with a make out session then ended up with chapter five's intro. Life is good? Oh well, hopefully I can figure it five in the next couple days before the family gets here. Sorry about the change between point of view, I got caught up in Dave's point of view and didn't realize it was wrong til you mentioned it. Thank you for that by the way. If you see anything else that's funky let me know. I apologize for any weird tenses in this one, I had to redo most of the chapter when I realized my point of view ran away again.

Keep being your fabulous selves,

Amni


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